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Survivors of Abuse - Warning Signs You're Not Past It

The difference between avoidance and incest recovery healing

Who needs the journey to recovery and wholeness?

You might be surprised. One of the most common responses by incest survivors to a childhood of violation and abuse is to deny the impact in adulthood.

With your permission, I would like to speak for a moment to those who have sought wholeness by "pressing it down" or "bottling it up" or "just getting past it". As a veteran of these half measures – which use up tremendous amounts of energy – I can speak with some authority of what is healing, and what is merely avoidance.

Avoidance is not recovery for incest survivors, but it does brings to mind a phrase I uttered in session, from decades ago. I said: "I have such tight reigns on this beast that I am riding. I am now in total control. I don't need counseling, it only upsets the beast. I don't need to talk about it. I am recovered and counseling only makes it worse, so I am going to quit!" I was deceiving myself. I was far from being healed and certainly not close to being recovered. Thankfully, I didn't quit.

Warning Signs You are not "Past It"

  • If you self medicate with alcohol & pills.
  • If you can’t establish sexual intimacy without emotional distress or negative emotions of any kind.
  • If you are a control freak that must direct any and all situations.
  • If you are promiscuous and commitment phobic.
  • If you want to hurt yourself, are hurting yourself or have frequent suicidal thoughts.
  • If you spend massive energy suppressing your thoughts.
  • If you are abusive- verbally, mentally, sexually, physically.
  • If you experience deep depression.
  • If you are overwhelmed everyday by intense crazy emotions and frantic thoughts.
  • If your relationships are abusive.

YOU ARE NOT PAST IT! You are merely riding a beast with tight reigns at best, but you are not past it. I went through several of these phases by the way. So don’t misunderstand me. I am not judging anyone. I speak with some authority on what is healing and what is avoidance.

It is critically important to discover how our perceptions control our actions, and how we relate to ourselves and the world around us. Where these perceptions or self truths originate from is the key to true freedom, and deeper levels of healing. This is what I delve into, and hope to impart to you, so that you can explore these things within yourself through the numerous links on this website… and with the help of a professional counselor for incest survivors.

Like a Phoenix rising from the ashes, you will rise up again whole and renewed!

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