Beginning the Recovery Process for Incest Survivors
If you are a child of abuse and incest, you may not be aware of how deeply that experience has impacted you. Perhaps you don’t realize even on how many different levels you are affected, or how deeply the potential for damages can run within.
Why it is so critical for an incest survivor to seek help.
One act of abuse can be as shattering as many acts of abuse because of how each of us differ in our minds and spirits. One incest survivor may have only a few key areas to heal and restore while another may face reconstructing his or her entire “self”.
Since my abuse occurred during vital formative years, and it was so manipulative and violent, lasting for almost a decade. I was faced with reconstructing everything about myself down to my very core.
As an incest survivor, no matter how much you face, fixing this is not something that should be done without the help of a professional counselor. The complex nature of our emotional, mental and physical health – and how they intertwine physiologically with our spiritual well-being – all need to be addressed with a professional’s help.
I am jumping back into the trenches again because I now have such valuable insights into this process, insights which I think can be very helpful. It’s one thing to have someone tell you in recovery “You can make it, you can get through this”. But if that person never went through it themselves, or anything anywhere near as daunting, it can hinder the trust levels, obviously working with professionals is paramount. I promote it and I also promote how important it is to have someone in your life who has overcome what you are trying to overcome so that you can turn to them as well for inspiration for insider tips and empathy. Both are equally important.
Trust me: I’m a child of abuse who has survived.
It’s another thing to have someone like me who has survived it… walked through it… and arrived at the other side tell you: “You can make it. You can get through this because it really is possible.” The beauty of my website is that I know how valuable it is to have both and I encourage all incest survivors to use my site in conjunction with going to a professional counselor. Everything that I share with you is taken from my experience. It is not meant to replace counseling. It is meant to inspire… to encourage… to give insight… and to be used in conjunction with professional counseling.
Indicators of abuse.
If you are a survivor and you are not sure if you should enter counseling, here are some warning signs that may indicate you need a deeper level of healing than you are able to reach alone.
These are warning signs that you are not past it:
If you self medicate with alcohol and pills to escape yourself,
If you can’t establish sexual intimacy, or can but not without emotional distress or negative emotions of any kind,
If you are a control freak that must direct any and all situations,
If you are promiscuous and never let your walls down,
If you want to hurt yourself, or are hurting yourself, or have frequent suicidal thoughts,
If you spend massive energy suppressing your thoughts,
If you are abusive verbally, mentally, or physically,
If you experience deep depression,
If you are overwhelmed everyday by intense crazy emotions or frantic thoughts,
If your relationships are always abusive.
I have sat and listened to men and women say with such confidence that they are past it and didn’t need counseling. But as they continued to talk, they admitted to not being able to have an orgasm or to feel love for a man or women. They would say that they had a pharmacy of illegal drugs to help them cope daily … or that they could not be close to others… or acting out but they were just fine and they were past it. I was hearing someone who was not past it, decidely in the grips of attempting to control the chaos within themselves.
There is a difference between healing and trying to control the chaos.
Having lived this entire experience… I know the difference between healing and avoidance or control. I know what it is like to try to maintain control of everything inside and not let anyone on the outside see the chaos. It’s like riding a wild, crazy dragon that is out of control and you have all your focus on keeping the reigns tight while staying on the dragon and not falling off. That is not healing and it is definitely not recovery.
My hope for you as a survivor looking for help and wanting and end to the pain and the chaos inside of you is for you to find peace and healing. I have worked hard and I have reached that goal for myself. I still work on minor improvements to myself but the major overhaul of reconstructing myself from badly wounded victim was done a long time ago. I believe I can help you in this process. This journey is hard but it is Richly Rewarding to the core of whom you are and whom you wish to be.
There are a myriad of resources available for incest survivors across the country that offer assistance with these matters. I have a link here for some local resources in Dallas Texas and links for some national resources for help as well.
Like a Phoenix rising from the ashes, you will rise up again whole and renewed!